How I Escaped the Social Media Trap and Found Real Joy Again
"We're Addicted—and Most of Us Don't Even Know It"
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Photo by the author
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever opened Instagram "just to check something real quick" ... and then looked up and realized 45 minutes had passed?
You don't even remember what you saw, but you feel drained, kind of annoyed at yourself, and still... you scroll one more time.
That was me—for years.
I didn't think it was a big deal. I mean, everyone uses social media, right? It's how we keep in touch, stay in the loop, relax after work. It's normal.
But at some point, I started asking myself: Why does this "normal" thing make me feel so empty?
At first, scrolling made me feel good. A rush every time someone liked a photo or sent a reply. A tiny hit of validation. A moment where I felt seen.
And it worked—until it didn't.
I started noticing the more I scrolled, the worse I felt.
It didn't refresh me.
It drained me. I wasn't using it to connect—I was using it to escape. And that realisation hit me like a brick.
"We've all become little dopamine addicts, looking for that next hit."Dr. Anna Lembke,Author of "Dopamine Nation"
We're Addicted—and Most of Us Don't Even Know It
You're not weak for getting hooked. These platforms are designed to hack your dopamine system.
I didn't even know what dopamine was until I saw a YouTube video called "How Overstimulation is Ruining Your Life" by Joey Schweitzer, Better Ideas. It broke it down so clearly:
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter—basically a chemical that signals pleasure and reward. Every time we scroll, swipe, get a notification—we get a tiny hit.
It feels good, so we keep chasing it.
But like any high, the more we chase it, the less it satisfies.
We overload our brains with high-dopamine activities—social media, fast content, constant stimulation—we start to numb out.
Things that used to bring us joy, like reading a book or going for a walk, feel boring in comparison.
That's exactly what happened to me.
Even after hours of scrolling, I didn't feel good anymore. I felt empty. Tired. Frustrated.
And I realised: I wasn't just wasting time. I was losing myself.
The Old vs. The New Way of Living
Before: I Lived on My Screen
I'd wake up and check my phone before even getting out of bed. One scroll turned into twenty. People traveling, partying, glowing—while I felt like I was falling behind.
"Comparison is the thief of joy", they say.
But on social media? It's the engine that keeps us scrolling.
A like here. A cute DM there. Dopamine. Then the crash. Then the scroll. Rinse. Repeat.
At night, I did the same thing. No reflection, no rest—just numbing.
"The pleasure-pain balance tips toward pain when we overstimulate the brain's reward system."Dr. Anna Lembke,Author of "Dopamine Nation"
This was the trap.
I had overstimulated my brain so much that even peace felt like discomfort.
After: I Took My Life Back
It didn't happen overnight. But it started with one honest
question:
"What am I really looking for when I scroll?"
Attention? Distraction? Belonging? Yep— All of it.
But none of it was being fulfilled.
So, I tried something simple. Delete the apps. Turn off the notifications. Try one day without it.
That first day? Honestly...it felt weird.
My hand kept reaching for my phone. My thumb had muscle memory. But something else happened too— by the end of the day, I felt...quieter. Lighter. Like my thoughts finally had space to breathe.
So, I tried again the next day. And the next...
And slowly, I started to take back my time.
A New Way to Begin
Realising all this was both sobering and empowering.
For a while, it left me sitting with a strange kind of grief. Not just for the time I had lost, but for the version of myself I'd been numbing—muted under the noise of constant scrolling.
But that grief also came with a gift: clarity.
I could finally see the problem not as a personal weakness, but as a system working exactly as it was designed to.
And once I saw the pattern, I couldn't unsee it.
The question became: Now what?
How do you begin to live differently in a world designed to distract you?
How do you build focus, presence, and peace when everything around you is pulling in the opposite direction?
The answer wasn't a digital detox.
It wasn't about deleting all my apps and becoming a monk.
It was simpler—and harder—than that.
It was about choosing small, intentional shifts.
Steps that respected where I was, but gently nudged me toward where I wanted to be.
How to Start: A Simple Guide for Breaking the Scroll Loop
That's what I want to offer you. If you're feeling the same pull and want to take back your time, focus, and peace of mind, here's what helped me begin breaking the scroll loop.
Not a prescription. Not a rigid plan. Just a starting point—a handful of small changes that helped me reclaim the sense of peace I was looking for.
1. Ask Yourself These Honest Questions
Start by getting clear on your why.
- Do I feel energised or drained after using social media?
- What emotions trigger my scrolling? (Boredom? Loneliness? Stress?)
- Is social media a tool in my life—or a trap?
Write down your answers. Seeing them in front of you makes the truth harder to ignore.
2. Remove the Triggers
You don't need to go full minimalist. Just start with these:
- Turn off all push notifications.
- Move social media apps off your home screen (or delete them for a few days).
- Set a timer for your usage (even 15 mins/day can be a game changer).
I used the Screen Time feature on my iPhone to limit Instagram to 15 minutes a day. That little reminder was like a gentle nudge: Hey, you said you wanted to do better.
3. Replace, Don't Just Remove
You can't beat a habit with willpower alone. You need a better option. Here are a few replacements that worked for me:
- Meditation: Even just a few minutes of quiet can settle your mind more than endless scrolling ever could.
- Read: Even just a few minutes with a book can expand your mind, spark your imagination, and calm your thoughts.
- Movement: Walk, stretch, go outside. It reconnects you with your body.
- Listen to a podcast: A good podcast can nourish your mind and shift your perspective.
- Gym session: Moving your body clears mental clutter and builds momentum that carries into the rest of your day.
- Micro goals: Start small—consume less sugar, go a whole week without alcohol, do 10 push-ups, write one paragraph.
Replacing the habit is half the battle. But the real change sticks when the new behavior feels natural—like something you want to do, not something you have to force. The easier it is to start, the more likely it is to become part of your life.
4. Remove Friction
It's not just about having better habits—it's about making them easier to follow. Set up your environment so the good stuff is right in front of you.
- Keep a book next to your bed instead of your phone.
- Put your journal on your desk so it's ready when you are.
- Leave your running shoes by the door to remind you to go for a walk.
- Place a sticky note on your screen with your micro goal for the day.
- Use website blockers during focus time to limit temptation.
The fewer steps between you and a good habit, the more likely you are to do it.
5. Track Your Wins
Keep a habit tracker or just a list in your Notes app. Celebrate small victories:
- "Didn't check my phone before breakfast."
- "Read 10 pages today."
- "Didn't use Instagram all weekend."
These tiny wins build identity. They help you shift from someone trying to quit to someone who lives differently.
6. Remember: You're Not Alone
Almost everyone struggles with this. The apps are designed to keep you hooked. This isn't about weakness—it's about awareness.
You're not broken. You're just human. And now that you see the pattern, you can start changing it.
The Big Picture: Why This Matters on a Deeper Level
This isn't just about quitting Instagram. It's about waking up to the hidden costs of how we live today.
It reveals how our constant digital connection is quietly reshaping our minds, numbing our joy, and making us feel alone in our struggles.
It reframes our habits not as personal failures, but as the result of systems designed to exploit our attention and dopamine.
At its core, it's about taking back control—about noticing our patterns, asking deeper questions, and making small, intentional changes that reconnect us with what matters.
It reminds us that joy comes not from scrolling, but from presence, depth, and meaning.
It offers not just insight, but a path—a way to feel human again in a world that often pulls us away from ourselves.
Final Thoughts: The Real Flex Is Peace of Mind
I'm not anti-social media. I still post, still check messages sometimes. But I do it on my terms now. It doesn't own me anymore.
The real flex isn't going viral. It's being present. Focused. At peace.
If you're stuck in the scroll loop, maybe it's time to ask yourself what I finally asked myself:
What is all this scrolling costing me?
Because once you ask that question—and answer it honestly—you've already started changing.
